I am blessed. I am Cherished. I am loved. I am overwhelmed. I am touched and changed.
Confucius said wherever you go, go with all your heart. Now I am not going in any physical direction but I am going in a spiritual one. There is something about really learning who my father is that is changing my heart. All I want to be is consumed by the fire in his heart. All I want is to burn like the brightest light so people will know that he is a living God, and he lives in all of us. Here there is no Greek or Jew, Circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian,slave or free, but Christ is all and is in all. Colossians 3:11
This verse gave me such revelation, it made me see that I was selfish for thinking that God really is only for me. That he only loved the people that were really looking for him. That I was a lone wolf in my faith so therefore I could walk out my life however I wanted. That my faith is not to be shared, because I am never going to change anyone's mind anyways. This is so untrue. When people said to me, "Oh well that's for you Lyndsay not for me" I just accepted it and was not at all sad by their position. Ever since I read this verse my heart has been slowly but surely radicalized. Now I am not about to go all Evangelistic on every single person that I see on the street but I am going to see them as a child of God. Knowing that God loves them just as much as he loves me. I do not know why this revelation did not come upon me sooner but it has and it has changed my heart so much.
God wants everyone to come to him, he wants us all to choose to love him. It does not matter who we are or what we have done, through Christ we have been made perfect. 1 Peter 4:8 Above all love each other deeply, because love covers a multitude of sins. There is nothing that love cannot accomplish, that it can not concur. Whether it be through loving each other here on earth or just accepting the love of God in our lives and knowing that we are worthy of all his love.
I do not know what the future holds for me all I know is "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. Philippians 1:6. I am confident that the Lord has started a good work in me, that he wants me to love him and trust him. That he wants me to do his work. Knowing is one thing that God has some amazing plan for my life but what the amazing thing is, is that my heart burns my feet burn to do his bidding to find out what he wants me to do with my life.
There is a long road a head of me, there is going to be a lot of prayer, a lot of trusting God, a lot of just jumping off the end and falling. I love the fall, I never though I would but with God all things are possible. I just want more, and whats awing is that there is ALWAYS more, there is an infinite amount of love, and Jesus to fill me up for the rest of my life.
I will finish with the lyrics of this song I am listening to its lovely
I will Exalt you- Amanda Falk Bethel Music
Your Presence is all I need
It’s all I want, all I seek
Without it, without it there’s no meaning
Your Presence is the air I breathe
The song I sing, the love I need
Without it, without it I’m not living
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
My Dream last night!
Hello all, so I just want to say that this is going to be an intense blog, at least for me. It is like nothing anything I have ever written before.
So here it goes.
I remember being at the mall, and I had finished doing whatever it was that I was doing so I walked outside to leave. As I was walking outside it started to rain, first lightly then gradually it got so heavy until sleet was coming down on me. I remember thinking of the mail man thing...through rain and sleet... As I was running to my car I guess I dropped my keys and did not notice. So all of a sudden there was a guy yelling at me so I turned and I guess I had dropped my keys and he noticed so he gave them back to me. I thanked him and he asked me if I wanted to come with him back inside that he needed to buy a toothbrush. I was thinking in my head ummm okay it should be fine its all the mall. So we walk up to this black metal door and he knocks on it and there is this big guy standing at the door to let us in. There were black metal stairs in what looked like an older brick building. I new I should have st oped and left right then but we continued on. We walked down these stairs then up into what looked like an apartment building...I was thinking why he would be looking for a toothbrush in an apartment. We walked up to this door and he knocked. It was opened by some indi looking dude and so we went in. As we entered there were two girls and one other guy. They were playing some card game that i'm pretty sure was made up in my head lol. I was just sitting there feeling really uncomfortable, I dont know what these guys looked like thinking about it now, I remember the girls being very pretty though. one was lounging on the bed with one of the guys and the other girl was playing this card game. Soon enough she was showing me how to play the game... It involved stacking piles and then spreading the cards to look like a flower of something, I accidentally flipped one of the cards over and noticed it was a picture of the girl sitting on the bed. As i turned more over I noticed how they were all black and white pictures of people and placed. I asked her if she was a photographer and she said she was, the next thing I remember I was listing to some music and feeling comfortable and slightly alone when this guy comes up behind me and I did not notice until the headphones were ripped from my ear and this guy was forcing himself on me. I was scared so I tried to get his hands off me I think I pushed him off me and I woke up. I was breathing so hard and so freaked out when i woke up and the feeling was with me for a while today.
So my cousin wesley came over for dinner tonight and I told him about this dream and how i totally believe that dreams have a meaning but I had no clue what such a freaky dream could possibly mean. He told me how he was asking god to tell interpret the dream while I was telling it to him and this is what he told me. That it was about discernment and focus. Which makes a lot of sense to me at the place I am at in my life. I was on a hard and cold path to my car so I could come home and be safe when some hottie was nice to me. And instead of saying no I can stay in the cold just a little bit longer I decided to go into a situation with someone who I did not know. Even in my dream I new that this was not the best thing, that it was not a smart idea, but I kept on thinking that it would be easy and fun. When I met these new people I was really worried and confused but once I was there for a while I felt okay and that they were normal people when all of a sudden out of nowhere I get assaulted. It was so shocking to me, even in my dream I was almost not even scared just confused and blown away that something like this would happen to me.
Now I dont think that the moral is that if you hang out with random people you will get raped i just mean that I have to make better choices. That I have to keep my eye on the ball, that something that may seem safe then can be harmful if I dont think the whole situation through. I think this has to do with men and school for me right now. I want to have all these things but I want the path to be easy I want to feel happy and like I am accomplishing something in the mist of everyday life. I dont know how many times I have said this but I truly feel like I live my life under this banner of avoidance and its freaky soo freaky. I hate that I do this to myself but I dont know how to not do this to myself. I dont have much enlightenment to take from this blog but I feel like I needed to get this out. Right I think that is all for now. More soon I am sure. <3
So here it goes.
I remember being at the mall, and I had finished doing whatever it was that I was doing so I walked outside to leave. As I was walking outside it started to rain, first lightly then gradually it got so heavy until sleet was coming down on me. I remember thinking of the mail man thing...through rain and sleet... As I was running to my car I guess I dropped my keys and did not notice. So all of a sudden there was a guy yelling at me so I turned and I guess I had dropped my keys and he noticed so he gave them back to me. I thanked him and he asked me if I wanted to come with him back inside that he needed to buy a toothbrush. I was thinking in my head ummm okay it should be fine its all the mall. So we walk up to this black metal door and he knocks on it and there is this big guy standing at the door to let us in. There were black metal stairs in what looked like an older brick building. I new I should have st oped and left right then but we continued on. We walked down these stairs then up into what looked like an apartment building...I was thinking why he would be looking for a toothbrush in an apartment. We walked up to this door and he knocked. It was opened by some indi looking dude and so we went in. As we entered there were two girls and one other guy. They were playing some card game that i'm pretty sure was made up in my head lol. I was just sitting there feeling really uncomfortable, I dont know what these guys looked like thinking about it now, I remember the girls being very pretty though. one was lounging on the bed with one of the guys and the other girl was playing this card game. Soon enough she was showing me how to play the game... It involved stacking piles and then spreading the cards to look like a flower of something, I accidentally flipped one of the cards over and noticed it was a picture of the girl sitting on the bed. As i turned more over I noticed how they were all black and white pictures of people and placed. I asked her if she was a photographer and she said she was, the next thing I remember I was listing to some music and feeling comfortable and slightly alone when this guy comes up behind me and I did not notice until the headphones were ripped from my ear and this guy was forcing himself on me. I was scared so I tried to get his hands off me I think I pushed him off me and I woke up. I was breathing so hard and so freaked out when i woke up and the feeling was with me for a while today.
So my cousin wesley came over for dinner tonight and I told him about this dream and how i totally believe that dreams have a meaning but I had no clue what such a freaky dream could possibly mean. He told me how he was asking god to tell interpret the dream while I was telling it to him and this is what he told me. That it was about discernment and focus. Which makes a lot of sense to me at the place I am at in my life. I was on a hard and cold path to my car so I could come home and be safe when some hottie was nice to me. And instead of saying no I can stay in the cold just a little bit longer I decided to go into a situation with someone who I did not know. Even in my dream I new that this was not the best thing, that it was not a smart idea, but I kept on thinking that it would be easy and fun. When I met these new people I was really worried and confused but once I was there for a while I felt okay and that they were normal people when all of a sudden out of nowhere I get assaulted. It was so shocking to me, even in my dream I was almost not even scared just confused and blown away that something like this would happen to me.
Now I dont think that the moral is that if you hang out with random people you will get raped i just mean that I have to make better choices. That I have to keep my eye on the ball, that something that may seem safe then can be harmful if I dont think the whole situation through. I think this has to do with men and school for me right now. I want to have all these things but I want the path to be easy I want to feel happy and like I am accomplishing something in the mist of everyday life. I dont know how many times I have said this but I truly feel like I live my life under this banner of avoidance and its freaky soo freaky. I hate that I do this to myself but I dont know how to not do this to myself. I dont have much enlightenment to take from this blog but I feel like I needed to get this out. Right I think that is all for now. More soon I am sure. <3
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Lift your Voice
It has been way to long, almost a year. I cant believe it. Wow. Anyways I'm over it.
These two songs by starfield have been in my head for the last while and I just love them so I want to share the lyrics with you and explain why they are so powerful to me right now.
No Other Saviour.
Lord of every age
Author of our faith
The first the last the same
The name above all names
Crowned in majesty
Glorious Prince of Peace
Throne of God's right hand
The world at his command
The world at his command
Jesus lamb of God
How great You are
There is no other Savior
Every knee bows down
At your renown
There is no other Savior
Merciful High priest
Lover of the least
Generous and meek
Protector of the weak
Sacrificed to death
For us, Your final battle
Your died, the world to save
To overcome the grave
To overcome the grave
Jesus lamb of God
How great You are
There is no other Savior
Every knee bows down
At your renown
There is no other Savior
You will reign forever
You reign forever
You will reign forever
You reign forever
You will reign forever
You reign forever
You will reign forever
You reign forever
Jesus lamb of God
How great You are
There is no other Savior
Every knee bows down
At your renown
There is no other Savior
Jesus lamb of God
How great You are
There is no other savior
Every knee bows down
At your renown
There is no other savior
First of all If you listen to the song the sound of it is just sooo sick. I love the retro keyboard kind of thing going on, it makes me feel like im floating when I listen to it, which was what drew me to it in the first place. Upon listing to the lyrics I felt like I could feel the conviction in their voices.
I feel like so much of the time we don't give credit where credit is due. God created us, he made everything and everyone. That is no small feat. I mean like everything??!! I cant even wrap my mind around it. In the summer time when I come home late at night and I get out of my car to walk into my house if it is perfectly clear outside the stars are the most beautiful thing to me. I was never one of those kids that wanted to go to the moon or outer space because I though that was just silly going out into all that! No way I like it down here on earth where there is gravity. However thinking about it now, the earth must look like the most beautiful thing in all creation from out there. I would think you really realize how small you are surrounded by all that SPACE! And God created it, for his purpose and I think a lot of the time because we cant understand the big picture or God we almost tend to ignore his obvious majesty.
In our society we are so individual we think that we can do everything by ourselves and yea we pretty much can. However, I was at a friends wedding and they said knowing God is the difference between having a good life and a GREAT one.
This song almost seems like an obvious song. You know like ummm yea Lyndsay we know that there is no other saviour! And yea we know there is no other saviour but how long does it take for us to know accept and understand there is truly only one saviour. I know that its hard thinking that I cant save myself..which ties into the other song that I have picked.
I need A Father
Hold me somebody
Don't let me be alone
Love me, stay with me
I am dying to be known
My heart cries out
I need a Father
Whose love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Whose trusted arms will hold me
I need a Father
I am wounded
But I tuck the pain away
Free me, heal me
I don't want to be afraid
My heart cries out
Here's my heart
Be tender, please
Let me know your love for me
Here's my heart
I'm on my knees
I will trust
'Cause I believe
You are my Father
Your love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Your trusted arms will hold me
You are my Father
I went out for dinner a few weeks ago with some friends and my Friend Chelsi asked what we missed about being in a Relationship...She said free touching haha i just have to say that because its so funny. Anyways she asked me and now I have never been in a relationship...because what I had I could not define, and still to this day cannot. However, thinking about it later I realized what I missed was trust. Knowing that no matter what happened they would be there for you, that the other person was not perfect but that they would be there and hold you in their arms. That they could make you feel special and just made you completely happy to be who you are. A total and complete blind faith that that person would NEVER hurt you. This is how I felt towards another human being. And having that feeling ripped away from me was the most devastating thing to ever happen to me. The point is that I loved a human the way I should have been LOVING GOD. That I trusted a mere man to always be there for me, to NEVER hurt me. Even if you love a person you still can hurt them, even if your married for a 10000 years you still hurt the people you love at times. So in loving a man the way I should have been loving God, it hurt so much worse when reality hit. All I could do was cry when I realized I did not trust God to truly love me.
You would think it would be easy to love God, and trust him, but It is SOOO Hard. I struggle every day. So this song I need a Father really makes us see who is COMPLETE LOVE, he gives us what we need when we need it. My heart was and always will be crying out because this world is so full of things that hurt, wound, and scare us. I have come a long way since getting my Pride crushed and a piece of my soul ripped away from me, and I honestly just realized the other day why I hurt for so long. I love learning about myself I love becoming closer to God through my mistakes and through his words. My life is nowhere near perfect and neither am I but I can love God.
These two songs by starfield have been in my head for the last while and I just love them so I want to share the lyrics with you and explain why they are so powerful to me right now.
No Other Saviour.
Lord of every age
Author of our faith
The first the last the same
The name above all names
Crowned in majesty
Glorious Prince of Peace
Throne of God's right hand
The world at his command
The world at his command
Jesus lamb of God
How great You are
There is no other Savior
Every knee bows down
At your renown
There is no other Savior
Merciful High priest
Lover of the least
Generous and meek
Protector of the weak
Sacrificed to death
For us, Your final battle
Your died, the world to save
To overcome the grave
To overcome the grave
Jesus lamb of God
How great You are
There is no other Savior
Every knee bows down
At your renown
There is no other Savior
You will reign forever
You reign forever
You will reign forever
You reign forever
You will reign forever
You reign forever
You will reign forever
You reign forever
Jesus lamb of God
How great You are
There is no other Savior
Every knee bows down
At your renown
There is no other Savior
Jesus lamb of God
How great You are
There is no other savior
Every knee bows down
At your renown
There is no other savior
First of all If you listen to the song the sound of it is just sooo sick. I love the retro keyboard kind of thing going on, it makes me feel like im floating when I listen to it, which was what drew me to it in the first place. Upon listing to the lyrics I felt like I could feel the conviction in their voices.
I feel like so much of the time we don't give credit where credit is due. God created us, he made everything and everyone. That is no small feat. I mean like everything??!! I cant even wrap my mind around it. In the summer time when I come home late at night and I get out of my car to walk into my house if it is perfectly clear outside the stars are the most beautiful thing to me. I was never one of those kids that wanted to go to the moon or outer space because I though that was just silly going out into all that! No way I like it down here on earth where there is gravity. However thinking about it now, the earth must look like the most beautiful thing in all creation from out there. I would think you really realize how small you are surrounded by all that SPACE! And God created it, for his purpose and I think a lot of the time because we cant understand the big picture or God we almost tend to ignore his obvious majesty.
In our society we are so individual we think that we can do everything by ourselves and yea we pretty much can. However, I was at a friends wedding and they said knowing God is the difference between having a good life and a GREAT one.
This song almost seems like an obvious song. You know like ummm yea Lyndsay we know that there is no other saviour! And yea we know there is no other saviour but how long does it take for us to know accept and understand there is truly only one saviour. I know that its hard thinking that I cant save myself..which ties into the other song that I have picked.
I need A Father
Hold me somebody
Don't let me be alone
Love me, stay with me
I am dying to be known
My heart cries out
I need a Father
Whose love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Whose trusted arms will hold me
I need a Father
I am wounded
But I tuck the pain away
Free me, heal me
I don't want to be afraid
My heart cries out
Here's my heart
Be tender, please
Let me know your love for me
Here's my heart
I'm on my knees
I will trust
'Cause I believe
You are my Father
Your love will never fail me
A friend like no other
Your trusted arms will hold me
You are my Father
I went out for dinner a few weeks ago with some friends and my Friend Chelsi asked what we missed about being in a Relationship...She said free touching haha i just have to say that because its so funny. Anyways she asked me and now I have never been in a relationship...because what I had I could not define, and still to this day cannot. However, thinking about it later I realized what I missed was trust. Knowing that no matter what happened they would be there for you, that the other person was not perfect but that they would be there and hold you in their arms. That they could make you feel special and just made you completely happy to be who you are. A total and complete blind faith that that person would NEVER hurt you. This is how I felt towards another human being. And having that feeling ripped away from me was the most devastating thing to ever happen to me. The point is that I loved a human the way I should have been LOVING GOD. That I trusted a mere man to always be there for me, to NEVER hurt me. Even if you love a person you still can hurt them, even if your married for a 10000 years you still hurt the people you love at times. So in loving a man the way I should have been loving God, it hurt so much worse when reality hit. All I could do was cry when I realized I did not trust God to truly love me.
You would think it would be easy to love God, and trust him, but It is SOOO Hard. I struggle every day. So this song I need a Father really makes us see who is COMPLETE LOVE, he gives us what we need when we need it. My heart was and always will be crying out because this world is so full of things that hurt, wound, and scare us. I have come a long way since getting my Pride crushed and a piece of my soul ripped away from me, and I honestly just realized the other day why I hurt for so long. I love learning about myself I love becoming closer to God through my mistakes and through his words. My life is nowhere near perfect and neither am I but I can love God.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Thinking
I am sitting here waiting for class to start. I am thinking about how and why I make the decisions I do. I have familly dinner this sat with my family who i am fighting with. I feel like it is all my fault and that I am this person, who is buring all these bridges because I feel its more important for people to know how I feel than for people to tell me how I should feel. Why am I upset about that? I know that I could have handled the situation better but I also I know I was not wrong is saying what I said. But maybe that is the problem, maybe i am just outright wrong sometimes. I am trying to understand this why my cousin would tell me to go fuck myself, why I am not a person who people can trust their kids aroud. I have dont the put yourself in their shoes thing. Something identical like this has happened to me before, I have been the one who's mom has been attacked. And i have also had the opportunity to be the one doing the "Attacking" and still I can not see why she reacted the way she did.
What I am most mad about it the fact that I am scared to go to my own family dinner, like SCARED. Like pt of my stomach, dread feeling scared. Aww i know i was right, but would i be feeling this way if I was right?
What I am most mad about it the fact that I am scared to go to my own family dinner, like SCARED. Like pt of my stomach, dread feeling scared. Aww i know i was right, but would i be feeling this way if I was right?
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Random??? I think Not.
It has been a strange day. The last few weeks’ things have been happening, which is to be expected as things always happen day to day when you are living your life. Although, those trivial things that happen to us that do not seem to mean anything, or they usually do not mean anything, well lately they have started to mean something. Or is it that I have just started paying attention to the things that happen around me?
A few weeks ago I wanted to go to the doctors because well, my ear was really hurting. So I go to the doctors anyways, when I get there I am informed that I do not have health insurance. Well let me tell you, I was right pissed off, and worried. How can I not have health insurance? So anyways I go home and I call the people and apparently they had been mailing me things but I never got ONE thing in the mail so they cancelled my insurance. So If I wanted to see the doctor I had to pay, and I have no clue how much it costs to see a doctor. And I said to her, well what happens if I get into an accident? So anyways she mailed me the papers so I can re-apply and as it happens I need my T4 from 2009 and I don't have them all yet so I have to wait until I get them all which I still have not done so I can not apply for my health insurance still. I am honestly still waiting to apply for my insurance.
Amazingly enough today I wanted to sleep in and work on my psychology project that is due Friday, so I did. There are two ways that I can get to the school the highway, or Glenmore. Now even though it was a bit rainy and snowy I wanted to take Glenmore, but I knew I should have gone the highway (which would have required me to be in the left lane not the right lane) but I just did not want too. And If I had gone into the left hand turning lane instead of staying in the right hand lane all this would not have happened. It’s funny how my wanting to be a rebel and go through Glenmore even though it was snowy and I knew I should just drive the highway caused all this. If you are ever going to get into an accident this is the perfect one. You never see it coming, then wam! Then it is all over and the gentleman that hits you takes 110% of the blame. I feel sorry for the guy I’m so cute and little, imagine hitting me, and me having never been in an accident before having no idea what to do. Poor guy! Anyways there was over 1200$ damage to my car and it is going to take at least 3 days in the shop to fix. Now all this was figured out and everything a mere 8 hours after it happened. Talk about the best accident ever. But my neck hurts like a SOB and I don't have health insurance to go to the doctor. And I am aware that CIBC will pay for it, but still, this is just stupid.
I have been thinking a lot about my friend Chelsey lately, and how she is doing living in Vancouver, wondering if her life is fun and exciting. Anyways I was walking downtown today, which I NEVER EVER do, and there she was. She is just here for a few days seeing a friend of hers, and it is insane that I even saw her. I don't know what this has to do with anything but I feel like it is important.
There are a lot of things in my life that I have no control over, wait I have NO control over my life. I am going to school and I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I know I am not the only one. However, I am 20 I should have some semblance of a plan. I do not know if I want to be a social worker, I don't know what I want to do. I want to go places though, I want to help people, I want to talk about suicide, sex trade, depression, and mental disorders. I want to learn about all these things because I am passionate about them! I want to inform other people about these things because they are important and prevalent in our society!
I also want to become a person, I want to have a life, I want to meet people and date people. I want to be like someone my age. I want to be able to learn from experience not from just what I read in books or what other people tell me. I want to find somewhere that I belong, but I have given up and I have not even started. That is the thing about me, I am all or nothing.
A few weeks ago I wanted to go to the doctors because well, my ear was really hurting. So I go to the doctors anyways, when I get there I am informed that I do not have health insurance. Well let me tell you, I was right pissed off, and worried. How can I not have health insurance? So anyways I go home and I call the people and apparently they had been mailing me things but I never got ONE thing in the mail so they cancelled my insurance. So If I wanted to see the doctor I had to pay, and I have no clue how much it costs to see a doctor. And I said to her, well what happens if I get into an accident? So anyways she mailed me the papers so I can re-apply and as it happens I need my T4 from 2009 and I don't have them all yet so I have to wait until I get them all which I still have not done so I can not apply for my health insurance still. I am honestly still waiting to apply for my insurance.
Amazingly enough today I wanted to sleep in and work on my psychology project that is due Friday, so I did. There are two ways that I can get to the school the highway, or Glenmore. Now even though it was a bit rainy and snowy I wanted to take Glenmore, but I knew I should have gone the highway (which would have required me to be in the left lane not the right lane) but I just did not want too. And If I had gone into the left hand turning lane instead of staying in the right hand lane all this would not have happened. It’s funny how my wanting to be a rebel and go through Glenmore even though it was snowy and I knew I should just drive the highway caused all this. If you are ever going to get into an accident this is the perfect one. You never see it coming, then wam! Then it is all over and the gentleman that hits you takes 110% of the blame. I feel sorry for the guy I’m so cute and little, imagine hitting me, and me having never been in an accident before having no idea what to do. Poor guy! Anyways there was over 1200$ damage to my car and it is going to take at least 3 days in the shop to fix. Now all this was figured out and everything a mere 8 hours after it happened. Talk about the best accident ever. But my neck hurts like a SOB and I don't have health insurance to go to the doctor. And I am aware that CIBC will pay for it, but still, this is just stupid.
I have been thinking a lot about my friend Chelsey lately, and how she is doing living in Vancouver, wondering if her life is fun and exciting. Anyways I was walking downtown today, which I NEVER EVER do, and there she was. She is just here for a few days seeing a friend of hers, and it is insane that I even saw her. I don't know what this has to do with anything but I feel like it is important.
There are a lot of things in my life that I have no control over, wait I have NO control over my life. I am going to school and I have no idea what I want to do with my life, and I know I am not the only one. However, I am 20 I should have some semblance of a plan. I do not know if I want to be a social worker, I don't know what I want to do. I want to go places though, I want to help people, I want to talk about suicide, sex trade, depression, and mental disorders. I want to learn about all these things because I am passionate about them! I want to inform other people about these things because they are important and prevalent in our society!
I also want to become a person, I want to have a life, I want to meet people and date people. I want to be like someone my age. I want to be able to learn from experience not from just what I read in books or what other people tell me. I want to find somewhere that I belong, but I have given up and I have not even started. That is the thing about me, I am all or nothing.
Friday, February 19, 2010
Yo Blog!
Alright since all I have been doing for the last 2 days is writting essay i am going to quickly update you all.
My window is open blowing in the freshest cool air ever, i think it is the only thing keeping me awake!! Its been so noce here that its just a bummer i have not done anything durring my reading break and It feels like i have not done any homework. I procrastanated....and sooo I am not going to work tomorrow, and am going to be hardcore communications and womenstudies till death do I part.
Okay since the only thing I do I school I'll tell you a bit about it.
Womens studies, well its more like gender studies and I LOVE IT! Its so amazing to learn these things! And the fact that I am actually learning is super cool!
English, blah all we do is read books and talk about them.
Communications, there is a lot of diction to wrap my mind around and some obsqure (Sp?? to lazy to check) topics that I find hard to explain, but other than that I really enjoy the class
Lastly PSYCOLOGY!!! im going to effing DIE! or fail, I hate that class sooo bad! man alive, I dont know what to do!
Other than that nothing is very exciting in my life. Work BAh, I think that I want a new job, although I would rather have no job or win the lottery....However, I do not think that that will happen sooooo here is to hoping!
I have a new thing for old school movies. Casablanca, a streetcar named desire, i am going to watch Dr.Zchavolgo? AGain ignore my horrid spelling.
I am scrapboooking A lot as well its crazy abnd I love it even though I dont have the time, but I do it anyways. YIKES. Okay i am working myself up into an anxiety fit because I have sooo much to do and NO time.
Sooo consider yourselves alll updated.
And Im eating meat again heheh
Love you all!
My window is open blowing in the freshest cool air ever, i think it is the only thing keeping me awake!! Its been so noce here that its just a bummer i have not done anything durring my reading break and It feels like i have not done any homework. I procrastanated....and sooo I am not going to work tomorrow, and am going to be hardcore communications and womenstudies till death do I part.
Okay since the only thing I do I school I'll tell you a bit about it.
Womens studies, well its more like gender studies and I LOVE IT! Its so amazing to learn these things! And the fact that I am actually learning is super cool!
English, blah all we do is read books and talk about them.
Communications, there is a lot of diction to wrap my mind around and some obsqure (Sp?? to lazy to check) topics that I find hard to explain, but other than that I really enjoy the class
Lastly PSYCOLOGY!!! im going to effing DIE! or fail, I hate that class sooo bad! man alive, I dont know what to do!
Other than that nothing is very exciting in my life. Work BAh, I think that I want a new job, although I would rather have no job or win the lottery....However, I do not think that that will happen sooooo here is to hoping!
I have a new thing for old school movies. Casablanca, a streetcar named desire, i am going to watch Dr.Zchavolgo? AGain ignore my horrid spelling.
I am scrapboooking A lot as well its crazy abnd I love it even though I dont have the time, but I do it anyways. YIKES. Okay i am working myself up into an anxiety fit because I have sooo much to do and NO time.
Sooo consider yourselves alll updated.
And Im eating meat again heheh
Love you all!
Friday, January 1, 2010
Happy New Year!
Well another year is gone, and I am pretty sure this was the best new years ever! Goodbye 2009, I cant wait to see what 2010 has to offer, besides the gay olympics.
Love
Love
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